So, this really amazing thing has happened to me in the last year. I have become two things that I can’t help but think are connected in a lot of ways.
I’ve always been self-conscious about my body because I’m fat. For a long time in jr. high I really hated the way that I looked, and in high school my bad feelings about myself caused me to spend a lot of time by myself, avoiding social situations, and just generally being unhappy.
When I started college, I found out that I’m actually kind of a babe, started dressing accordingly, and felt a little bit better.
Last year, I realized how important feminism is to me and started reading feminist blogs, books, and websites, and now I don’t go a day without talking to someone about it or calling someone out on sexist bullshit.
Last year, I also bought my first jumper. I went somewhere in a bathing suit for the first time since I was a kid. I bought a dress that hit me above my knees, and I gave my phone number to a guy in a band.
Being a feminist has changed the way that I look at myself. When I looked at my body through the eyes I had been given by my upbringing in a culture obsessed with being perfect, I hated what I saw, because it wasn’t perfect.
No, when I look at myself through the eyes of someone who realizes that my body is different from everyone else’s and that that isn’t a bad thing, I love it, because I can see now that it is perfect. It’s big and it’s curvy and sometimes it gets tired or sick, but it’s mine, and it’s so amazing.
I can’t help but think that seeing my body as a tool for me to use to experience everything that I want to in life, as opposed to something for men to enjoy, has made me love it so much, and made me so proud that it’s mine.